Local Band Struggles to Find the Perfect Name That Encapsulates Their Terrible Music

By: Bobby Johnson, WTL

Updated: 8:32 AM CT, Wed March 30, 2022

Jennifer Reiner, 23, is currently the lead singer for the band that at the point of me writing this is named "Toddler Vomit". Their genre is folk punk rock and they are starting to develop quite the following in their northwest region. The problem they have is finding just the right kind of name to encapsulate the subpar sound that they've developed. "Everything sounds so cool," says Reiner. "People hear the name and expect a different type of band than they are getting. It's become an issue where we are getting booed off stage by the wrong types of people."

"People [...] expect a different type of band than they are getting"

The drummer, Adrian Barawitz, 26, confirms this has been a problem since their inception. "We've tried every name we can think of and nothing sounds just like the bluegrass soul EDM sound we are going for." The band, who changed their name to "Faded to spears" by the time I wrote this part of the article, has been competing with local bands at the battle of the bands for years. They keep signing up for the wrong category as they can't find the right name to mix with their blues Swedish metal sound.

"Nothing sounds like the bluegrass soul EDM we are going for"

I recently met up with "Shark Feet" (the new name of the band) and watched them play. It seemed as though each performer thought they were playing a different style of music. "That's the charm," claimed Reiner. "We don't speak beforehand. Every time we get on stage each of us chooses a different genre to play. Sometimes the shows are amazing, sometimes not so much. How can you label that?"

You can label it "nauseating" according to the local paper that has been following "Istanbul shit" (new name) since they began playing together just a few months ago. They had one good review of a show and it was one where they all decided to play ska music by happenstance. "It was our worst show," says Reiner. "We were so in sync, the audience could hear what I was singing. The beat was the same. Not the type of show we are going for." They have numerous shows lined up for this summer, all under different names. So try and catch their show and decide for yourself if it is art or not.

Update: They've renamed the band "Carol and the Vikings"

Update 2: They've renamed the band "Mass a choo choo sex"

Update 3: They've renamed the band "Bad Ass-Car"

Update 4: They've renamed the band "O'Shannigan's Auto Parts"

Update 5: They've renamed the band "One little two little three little fascists"

Update 6: They've renamed the band "You will have a rich fortune - in bed"

Update 7: They've renamed the band "It's not your fault"

Update 8: They've renamed the band "One foot on the pedal"

Update 9: They've renamed the band "Paper slaps rock"

Update 10: They've renamed the band "Holier than POW"

Update 11: They've renamed the band "Bad Ass-Bike"

Update 12: They've renamed the band "Tooth and Fail"

Update 13: They've renamed the band "Papa No Guinea"

Update 14: They've renamed the band "#MeThree"

Update 15: They've renamed the band "Directed by David Lynch"

Update 16: They've renamed the band "Leaning Tower of Deez Nuts"

Update 17: They've renamed the band "No Name"

Update 18: They've renamed the band "The Wrath Less Traveled"

Update 19: They've renamed the band "Welcome to the Garden, please respect the rules"

Update 20: They've renamed the band "Angel Wings doing Demon Things"

Update 21: They've renamed the band "Ain't sand but kitty litter"