How I Became a Role Model for People With Paruresis

Mar 25, 2022

3 min read

By: Bobby Johnson, WTL

Updated: 7:23 AM CT, Fri March 25, 2022

For far too long people have been afraid of who they are or what they fear. For far too long we have hidden in the shadows. We have hidden in the stalls, hidden at sporting events, hidden behind the trees at camp sites. But not any more. I have refused to let the shame I feel make me feel shame. It is time to come out of the stalls and proudly say "Yes! I have Paruresis and it is common!"

For those of you that don't know, Paruresis is the condition of being so uncomfortable urinating in front of others that you sometimes can't go at all until you are completely alone. My journey to leading other people to the light began in the summer of 2017.

I was at an outdoor festival for people who like drugs and dirt, and I needed to use the restroom. I couldn't go to the portable restrooms they had set up because the line was so long. I knew that if I ever made it in one of those things that everyone would be outside waiting, watching, listening. I couldn't stand it! I decided to hike into the woods away from everyone so that I could actually relieve myself. I was about three quarters of a mile away from the festival when I ran into Molray Ginoslavi. Molray was a fellow festival attendee and, as luck would have it, a fellow Paruresis sufferer. After we hiked half a mile in opposite directions to relieve ourselves we decided to meet back up and discuss our affliction. It was only after being open and honest about our troubles that I realized things needed to change. No longer should we be ashamed of our shame. We needed to be comfortable telling people we are uncomfortable!

No longer should we be ashamed of our shame

I decided to start speaking openly about it to anyone who would listen. As luck would have it, many others could relate to my struggles. I decided to put together a speaking tour, to go around to high schools, to offices, to family doctors offices, and speak to those who needed to hear "you are not alone, but you can be." Molray decided not to join me on this tour. He said that the attention would just make it harder. I understood, but I had to spread the word.

It's been five years now and I am able to go across the world and meet with people who can't go in front of people. There are more than you realize. There are those in public office, those serving in the armed forces, even those in medical professions who simply can't expose themselves that way; it is inspiring.

Molray passed away a couple of summers back. He couldn't go at another music festival and was bitten by a rattlesnake in the woods. No one was around to help him. He just couldn't stay away from those festivals. I continue to be the spokesperson for Paruresis for Molray and for all those who have to rearrange their lives for a fear the world will never understand.